Sometimes when you have a sad day-you just want to be sad. I know there is value in being cheered up. And I usually pull the, "I could have it worse" card which generally helps snap me out of my feel-sorry-for-myself funk. There is always someone who has it worse-and as bad as things can seem, they could probably get worse.
But sometimes, you just need to have a pity party. And when friends of mine call me and tell me that something has them down (like this morning-one of my best friends in the world is having a very tough time); as much as I want to turn on the charm and use my sense of humor to make her feel better, I also feel like just saying-"Well, that SUCKS. And you should be down, and I would be too." Is that really so bad? Honestly, that may well be the best thing I can think of to say. So, for all of you having days like that-maybe you should just say that once in a while. It's okay to just be down.
Now, I am not saying it should go on and on. Eventually, these days come to an end (thankfully); and then we have to live our lives-even through the disappointments and imperfections. Most of us do. In fact, that is probably what separate winners and losers. It is not about the bad things that happen to us-it is all about how we deal with them and get on with it. Still, we reserve the right to let those things bother us. I am just saying there is no shame in admitting that when something bad happens-it makes you want to curl up in a ball and not even face the world. Sometimes the world wins-and I am okay with a white flag day once in a while. We should all grant ourselves that. And then, the next day (or so)-get up and take aim again.
I think one of the best things you can do is reaffirm a friend's feelings. To validate what they are feeling. Empathy is sometimes the best medicine.
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ReplyDeleteIt is true, I sometimes just want to wallow dang it. Wallowing is something we as women should totally be allowed to do! It's our right, it's what we get back for having to bear children! Because typically we are wallowing in our sorrow over our children. So I applaud you my sister for seeing this. Most of us do buck up and dust ourselves off after a quick pity party. It's only time to call in the calvery when it goes on and on like a frat party during rush week.