Failure

You always pass failure on your way to success....~Mickey Rooney

So, this is the kind of day I am having. I have been working on this certification for 3 months now to teach a weight training class called Body Pump. I thought today would be my last round. After the initial training in December (which was really just boot camp); I was feeling pretty good about myself for having passed; only 3 or 4 of us out of 10 passed that phase. Then, after accumulating a ton of hours of practicing and co-instructing; we are to record a video of ourselves teaching this class for submission to the Body Pump Nazi's for final approval. For me, that video was this morning-at 6 am. Yes, I said 6 AM! ugh! Not my finest hour-but the very best instructor I know allowed me to teach his class which is at that time, and I know most of the people in there so it was comfortable (as comfortable as I can be at 6 AM doing something very awkward). He was a good enough friend to tell me at the end that I just didn't do good enough to pass. I didn't do horribly-I probably got a B or a C. In order to pass the assesment, though, you must get an A. I did not get an A. And I could tell it was hard for him-though I really appreciate him for it.

I suppose it was presumptuous to think it would only take one time. I have learned that most of my peers who are crazy enought to put themselves through this scrutiny do as many as 4 or 5 of these hideous videos before submitting a final one. And this makes me wonder what on earth Les Mills (that is the outfit behind these programs)is thinking? Must you torture people this much? Honestly, the people in class today got a great work out-and no one was in harm's way. Is it not possible to just have trainers come out and do the final; much like the preliminary training? I can tell you, that would make me far more comfortable. The whole camera experience was not pleasant.

There have been MANY times in this 3 month period that I have really questioned myself on going forward. This morning, for example, in the shower after the debacle, I really, really wanted to quit. But, like every other time I have felt that way-about a number of things, I always come back to the reality that failure is generally a necessary component of success. I should know this. I have met with failure many times. As a result, I know what success is, and I know how good it feels. I know how it is just something no one can take away-and only I can go out and get it. And I love it. Days like today, where it eludes me, I simply have to hang on to that.

No, it's not the biggest tragedy in the world-or even in my life. There are far more important things. However, these are the lessons in life that make me a little more gratuitous and stronger for the next challenge that comes along-and there will be another one. That much is a certainty.