Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Another gym blog

I go to many different gyms. As a 24 hour member (yes, the bottom feeding establishment that it is), I can go to any of their wonderful facilities. So, I go to the one by my office during the week-and I recently joined a very nice club I go to on the weekend. I also go to a couple of other locations during the week so I can catch some of my favorite instructors.

Every gym comes complete with LAME (look at me) cast. There is the too tan, dressed 10+ years inappropriately, just got out of the waiting room of the plastic surgeon girl. There are FAR too many of them. They irritate the hell out of me but the also look great (that might be part of why they irritate me). This girl knows she looks great and makes every effort to be seen. She is meticulously dressed, her hair is usually just so-and she always has make up on. She bends over, streches in the most high profile locations-yells loudly during group exercise, etc. Yesterday one of these LAME girls had on a sports bra top combo that was a bit too narrow because her implants were actually hanging out of it. Mind you, I am a fan of implants-but I don't really need to SEE them. It's okay to be hot-just use some discretion-some people are actually there to excerise and not just to be stared at. What we really need for folks like this is an fitness zoo-where they can have their own little cages that people can come and marvel at what a good job they do with their tiny bodies and tons of free time. (hmm, do I sound bitter?)

Of course, there is always a yin for the yang. The member who doesn't realize she is not the aforementioned person, but dresses like she is. Folks, tight fitting tops and short shorts are not supposed to be worn by everyone-regardless of the latest fashions. Some people should stick to the loser fitting styles. I do admire people who are not the of the super model variety that are still at the gym, sweating and suffering away. It is much harder to go when you don't look like you live there. In fact, some of these people might have other things to do like work or raise children, etc. While I fit in this category, I don't wear grossly inappropriate work out attire. That is all I ask.

Then, there are the guys who accompany the LAME ladies. They are really fun to take in. Most of the time, they have on what you might call a tank top. It's the closest thing to not wearing a shirt they can get away with. They walk around like stuffed turkeys-with their arms and chests sticking out. They are the guys who wore those balloon pants with loud prints in the 80's. Today they have on these inverse tank top concoctions. This guy grunts really loudly too-and always wants to work in with the guy who lifts a lot less than he does. He never wipes off the equipment, and the youngest versions rarely put anything away-probably so the next person can be impressed by having to remove all the large plates. "my, how strong you must be to use all these plates" It's so predictable.

Also, why would a member of the male sex wear spandex EVER? It just isn't a good look. I was corrected once by a guy who told me it was LYCRA (whatever). I suppose if you are on a 10 hour bike ride outdoors, it could be almost acceptable, but a 60 minute spin class? If I wanted to see a display of fashion disability and abuse of good taste, I will just go to the local Renaissance Festival. I don't need it at the gym.

As for 24 Hour itself-what a total rip off. The showers are just breeding grounds for disease-hair stopping up the drains-the soap dispensers are always out, those cheap plastic shower curtains, no place to put your personal items,etc. The outlets rarely work-many of the shower heads don't work. I love their 10 cent towels that they sell for $7. And because I have my head up my you know what, I often have to purchase one. So why go there you ask? Well, it's cheap, it's convenient-and where else can I get this kind of material to blog about?

As for my posh club I recently joined, give me a couple of months on that one-I am sure there is great material there too. For one, it has a tennis club as part of the membership-that alone is grounds for endless snobbery and hoity toity behaviors to make fun of. What I am finding early on is a lot of white haired members. But I will keep you posted.

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