Thursday, November 29, 2012

Life's Irritating Mysteries.....

These are examples of things in my life (and many other people's lives) that are just WRONG:

One shoe;  Is there anything more irritating in life than losing ONE shoe?  Why not just lose them both?  The one is a constant reminder of the fact that you have lost the match.   It also makes me want to throw it away.  But then the minute I do that, the other one will show up, like sunglasses or an ID I just replaced.

Fire alarms; first of all, we have had one fire in my kitchen-and not one single alarm in my house went off.  But every time I use my ovens at a temperature over 400, they just go off like a bad episode of Seinfield (which is a show about nothing).  Second of all-and FAR MORE IRRITATING, is the fact that the batteries always seem to run out at 2 in the morning, and that mind numbing beep/chirp sound is completely insufferable.  I don't know if it's because it's 2 am, or because they are just designed this way, but it is virtually IMPOSSIBLE to tell which alarm the chirp is coming from.  It is only after smashing every single one that the chirping stops=and even then, it's like it keeps on chirping from the dead.  It takes HOURS for it to stop, even when each one of them has been smashed to pieces.

Speaking of sounds that drive me crazy.  I cannot stand the sound of my dog licking his fur-especially in the middle of the night.  It's like that faucet dripping sound, or one of those old fashion clocks that tick so loud that it feels like your heart is beating.  

Another thing I cannot understand is people who act like they don't know you, but you know they do.  In fact, you have met them many times before.  I have neighbors like that.  Every time I see them, they act like they have no idea who I am, and we have lived 4 houses down from them for 10 years.  SO annoying.  What this really says to me is that I am not very memorable. 

Is it just me, or is it the most annoying thing ever when a you cannot find the beginning on a roll of tape.  Then you find one little strand, and it just peels off in tiny little strips.  Is there no better way?

And why, in such an advanced day and age of technology, do we still measure first downs in professional football with a couple of men holding sticks?  I mean, if we can see the red or yellow lines on TV, why can't they?

And don't you hate achronymns that make no sense?  Who thinks DVD stands for anything? It stands for digital versatile disc.  WHAT?  That's a real common term.  Good thing they abbreviated that!  Oh those wizards at Sony and Phillips!  And SOS, what is that all about?  Save our Ship?  Save our Souls?  Save our Sh*t?  How about just the word help?  Is that just too difficult?  VCR (now I am showing my age) is Videocasette Recorder-which is two words.  TV is television which is one word-television.  It's madness I tell you!

While we're at it, why not talk about compound words that are just ridiculous?  Like breakfast-how do those words fit together to describe a meal that is different to every person?  Bookworm?  What is that, someone who likes to read?  A worm is not something i associate with those who are passionate about something.  Do worms even have brains?  I mean, they stay alive if they are cut in half?  And egg nog?  The word nog is so goofy, that I can't even take anything seriously that uses it, but why egg?  I spend most of my picky childhood life thinking it was just a bunch of eggs hanging out in a glass.  When I finally worked up the nerve to try it, I could not believe how far the name and the taste were.  

I really could go on all night, but simply because I too tired, and completey irritated by my own ramblings, I will save it for another blog!

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