Fit to Lead

I have had many jobs in my life, at many ranges of pay. My favorite? Teaching group exercise; and it pays about $15-25 an hour depending on the gym. It is ironic to realize that at this point in my career. At first, I was nervous to teach. Everyone is staring at you-and there is that awkward silence where they are sizing you up, etc. I have been doing group exercise for so many years that I know exactly what it's like to be on that side. Reversing roles was a bit daunting. I don't know how many times in life I have thought-oh, I could so do that... But not that many times in life have I been able to test that theory. So, last summer, I got my certification in Group X through a national organization. It was an 8-10 hour day of being tested/evaluated/judged on your skills as well as 100 question exam testing your knowledge of a bunch of crap I don't even remember now. Then I had to go pimp myself to fitness coordinators at a million gyms. Finally, one in Highlands Ranch, gave me a shot. I was so excited! All I had to do was audition in a live setting for one hour and lead the 5:30 am (ouch!) spin class. Easy enough? NOT! I had never done more than one song. In retrospect, I am glad it was at such a ridiculous hour-I might have been awake enough to realize how I nervous I was otherwise. It went well, and I started teaching on Tuesday nights. I am forever grateful to Darci Freeman for giving me that chance. I have learned that you just don't get anywhere without someone giving you a chance. I have been sub'ing wherever else I can, and I just landed my second job as a spin instructor at a posh little club on Thursdays. I have also taken on a weight training class called Body Pump. And that's a whole other blog too-some of these fitness programs take themselves a little too serious.

So, I am wondering why it is that I love this stuff so much? Sometimes I look up during a class I am teaching and think-holy sh*t! I am actually leading these people-and they are doing it-and we are having fun. I am not even thinking about it-just going and going, and it hits me that I was just meant to be doing this. And I guess it's just the sense of accomplishment. Each one of these certifications you have to earn require studying, practicing, testing, and an outcome. It fills a void for me. As adults we don't always have that. My husband plays sports for his. School used to do that for me-there were semesters, grades, etc. My job does not provide that, in fact, I never feel like I am accomplishing a thing. I thought I was going to be involved in all these fun and excited things. What I learned is that a few people here pull the strings-and everyone else just goes through the motions. I HATE selling ads-I thought that would just be a part of my job-it's really most of my job. And in an economy where everyone is scaling back-ads are a dying breed. So, I do a whole lot of nothing and hate it. And then I feel guilty-and lucky that I even have a job, and it's just the same process everyday. So, I guess it's not surprise that leading a cycle/spin class gives me such great pleasure.

Bad Mom Moments

So, I have not taken my kids to the dentist in-well, way too long. The other night, my oldest tells me his tooth hurts. And today, we found out that he has two cavities that are so bad, they must be extracted! The worst part is, had I taken him last year like I was supposed to, a filling would have done the trick. And now I have to subject him to a lot more pain and suffering. I was sitting in a stool next to the hygienist while she did his cleaning-I felt smaller and smaller as she continued. She reminded me MANY times of my lack of deligence in getting him there more often-which is good because I wasn't feeling quite bad enough. I was expecting to have a photo at the end of the appointment so they could hang it up in the hall of shameful parents. My orthodontist did that when I was a kid-only it was actually a hall of fame-I always had my picture on it for such having such good hygiene. I brushed AND flossed even with braces every single day. Still, despite my superior hygiene, I did get a lot of cavities as a kid-I learned that it is just genes. My husband has never flossed a day in his life, and had maybe 2 cavities his entire life. So, it appears my son got in the wrong line on those genes. There might be hope for Thing #2 (my younger son); but I doubt it. He goes in a couple of weeks for an equally as long overdue a visit. I'm sure that will be wonderful. I know getting an "A" in mommy hood is not possible on all fronts, but some days you really just bomb don't you? This was definitely one of them. ugh!

Blog Vacation

It seems I take a blog vacation during the fall/winter months. Who knows why. I just noticed recently that the sun has been coming up just a tiny bit sooner, and setting just a tiny bit later-which is a great trend. I love when winter starts to fade, and springs comes. It just means summer is not so far! And summer is my favorite time of year. I often wonder why I don't live in a place like Florida or California. It would be so nice to have summer all year long. I would be much more productive. And speaking of winter, I bought my husband shiny new snow blower for Christmas this year. And guess what? It snowed like crazy the 23rd and 24th of December, and then not another ounce since! It's just like washing your car-it rains almost instantly afterward. Still, though, it's not a bad thing. I like the snow-but really only for skiing and the scenery. Driving in it, shoveling it, dressing for it-not so fun.



Although I have not been talking to myself on this blog in recent months, I did do a sports blog on my fantasy football league, and I have been keeping quite busy with my little alter career as an instructor for spin classes-and the newest challenge is this Body Pump certification I am in the process of chasing down. The spin certification was a ton easier. After all, who can't ride a bike? This Body Pump thing is a bit different. It's a weight lifting class-and one I have been a participant of for years. So, naturally, I thought it would be no sweat to pick it up as something I could teach-NOT. It is a 4 month process. It's driving me crazy too. The worst part is, even after I complete this ridiculousness, there is no guarantee I will even be able to teach it. But still, the whole chasing down a goal and accomplishing it has kept me fairly fulfilled.

I don't really have that at my primary job-mostly because selling ads in this economy is not very rewarding. And also, even if it were, I lack passion for it. I took this job thinking that would just be a part of what I do, and now it seems like it's all I do. So, that means I do a whole lot of nothing. I seem to be in a rut here, and I don't know how to break it. So, my supplemental fitness career is helping. In a perfect world, I could just quit this gig and do the teaching thing full time. Unfortunately-it does not pay the bills-or even half the bills! It pays $15-25 an hour depending on the gym you teach for. Even the most invested instructors don't teach more than 6 classes a week so the math just does not work there. I would love to just contract on the side but I don't have a clue how to do that. Perhaps that should be my next goal huh?

The Good Wife

If I had read this when I was a teenager-or maybe even in my early 20's, I would have been offended. I remember thinking being a housewife was not something to aspire to. I was going to take the world by storm-you know, run companies, kick butt, take names, etc.....



And naturally, here I am 20 years later, thinking-I would do just about everything on that list if it meant I could quit my job and raise my own kids. In the beginning, it seems that men took care of women and women took care of men-we just each had our roles. As society evolved from the hunter/gatherer phase, men became the breadwinners and women the homemakers. It always had a bit of a condescending feel to it-like the breadwinner was the superior one. As if the one who earned a living was the only one with the capacity to think for himself. Maybe that's just our culture where money rules our world. Or maybe it was just my perception-I had a father from the middle east (Iran) and a mother from the deep south (Arkansas). In any case, I always thought financial independence would keep be a great thing. It was total independence from men. No man could mistreat me.



Then I got married, and some 18 years later, I am finally realizing that he is not going to mistreat me. My husband (though he does get on my nerves) is a very good man. He is kind and fair. He is not perfect but he is my partner, and just like it has always been intended, we are supposed to take care of each other. I never needed to ensure independence. I think I was just worried I would be in my mom's shoes but I am not. And largely thanks to her I am not. I am educated, and I picked someone from my own culture who does not degrade women or treat me like I am inferior. I guess growing up with an example like that than made me think that's just how it was. But it's not.



Then I got in the workforce. At first, when I had tons of time and no money, it seemed reasonable to work my butt off-I had nothing else to do, and I thought I could really ascend that way. Eventually though, the work force became I place I didn't like anymore. It was a combination of events: I had babies and my industry completely fell apart (mortgage-that which must not be named). The two together made me realize I wasn't really living out a dream-it was a nightmare actually. However, the dual income lifestyle has sucked us in, and we now have a house and two cars and kids in a private Christian school. Being able to stay at home has not been a viable option. I do long for the day it is.



The problem with working outside the home, is that all of those things on the list of the Good Wife article are still somewhat expected of moms/wives. Our roles there have not changed that much. My husband wants his meals cooked, his house orderly, his kids taken care of, etc. The only difference is that I work-well, and of course, it's not the set of "Father Knows Best" either. Some of that crap was just ridiculous. Honestly-put a bow in your hair and freshen your make up? But the overall role is still overwhelming as the woman of the house. I never feel like I am on top of things, I miss out on tons of time with my kids. I HATE my job. I am thankful my mom and mother in law have watched my kids all these years so they have been able to stay at home while their parents are at work. It has enabled us to give them a very privileged life. Still, if I could do it again (and who doesn't have a HUGE list of these); I wish I would have had to forsight to know what I did not know then!

Life's sweet moments

I do not get to pick my boys up from school very often. My husband drops the 2nd grader off at the door-he runs in without even a glance back. I usually drop off my pre-schooler and then my mom or mother in law gets to pick him up. It's an enviable job they have. There can be tears and frowns associated with the drop off, but the pick up-oh, the pick up! Yesterday I did get to pick him up because we had a social event afterward at a park. I got to his room, and the minute we made eye contact, his eyes lit up and he propelled out of his chair, ran the length of the room as fast as his little feet could carry him, and leaped into my arms. Then he wrapped his little arms around my neck and buried his sweet little face in my chest. It was the greatest moment! I wish it would have never ended.

Irritating Mysteries

This is a little column I like to write occasionally-mostly it spares my husband the incessant bitching (not really) about it because I can vent here!


How do those dividers where you keep silverwear in your kitchen drawers get so dirty? Honestly, those items go right from the dishwasher to the drawer. How can so much debris accumlate?


Why is that when I lose something (usually sunglasses, keys, ID cards), that as soon as I replace them, I find the original! UGH!

I hate opening a CD or DVD only to find a different one in the case-this sets off a chain affect that generally leads to an empy case.

Why can I not stop eating sunflower seeds?

Why does my husband squeeze toothpaste from the middle?

I am so dependent on appliances. When my dishwasher needed replacing, you would think I had forgotten how to wash by hand. And I am certain my husband never knew (thanks in large part to my mother in law)

Have you ever bought a watermelon at the store, then opened it to find it wasn't a good one? How in the world do you return it? It's just $5 gone to waste.

Commercials do not need to be so much louder than programs on television. They already make up for 50% of the time you are watching a show-do they need to be deafening as well?

I am so tired of Tom Brady! Honestly, can we make more of this guy?

Have you ever noticed that when you throw away a receipt, you almost always need it later? I swear, I could keep receipts for years, and the minute I throw one away, it seems like I need it! ugh!

Amusement parks

I took my kids to Elitch Gardens over the weekend. Let me just say-as amusement parks go-ours is a bit of a minnow. Though it has come a long way since its days on Tejon and 44th, it still doesn't compare to places like Magic Mountain in LA or Kings Island in Cincy. Now those are amusement parks. However, when it comes to the clientele, I believe it's probably similar.

Very interesting cultural diversity at these places. I cannot believe how many tattoos and piercings people can fit onto their bodies. I found it hard not to stare at times. I am one of those people who stares. I cannot help it. I am also amazed at how expensive everything is-and wondering how some of these folks can afford it. Honestly, it doesn't look like some of these kids could hold down jobs. One kid in front of me in line for Icees had a Mohawk about 10 inches high and some angry Tshirt with "F "you written on the front in big letters. I cannot imagine this kid in a job interview. I wondered if his parents knew what he was wearing-but judging from the rest of his appearance, I am not sure it would even be noticeable.

I realize I live in a suburbia bubble these days but I am not sure I could have ever done the urban lifestyle. I guess I am showing my age. Amusement parks amuse me for a whole different reason than they did when I was a kid.