Summer time

Hallelujah! It's finally here. I just love summer time. As spoiled as we are in Colorado with the great weather year round-summer will always be my absolute favorite. I have to say, it's been an uncharacteristically chilly, rainy spring so I was really ready for summer, and without further delay, it is here.

I love the sounds of birds chirping in the morning, and the sweet smell of nectar in the air. I love when it's light out at 5 am and until 9 pm. I can get up out of bed and work out early in the morning. I don't care to sleep as long. I love the smell of chlorine and drugstore sunscreen. I love popsickles and watermelon running down my arms and being barefoot all day long. I love riding in convertables with trendy tunes blasting and the sunshine just kissing my face. I love painting my nails funky colors and wearing my hair up all the time. I wear no makeup (like I ever do anyway) and I love the sunblessed bronze color I get.

I love going to ballparks; the smell of hotdogs, cotton candy and popcorn. I love that ping sound a baseball makes when it is hit just right. I love wearing tank tops and baseball caps. I love drinks with little umbrellas and frosty, frothy mugs of beer. I love patios with pitchers of margaritas and salty bar food.

The 4th of July is the best holiday ever. You can purchase those matchbox fireworks to light off and irritate your neighbors. Then you can just park it on a blanket somewhere and watch fireworks light up the sky. We always go to the ballgame at Coors field to watch their fireworks show and it never disappoints. I love picnics and swimming pools. I love riding bikes to the park and listening to the laughter of my kids.

I just love everything about this time of year-except for when it's over. That, and the fact that I don't have a job that allows me to be off for these months. Still, I will have this love affair with June, July and August for the rest of my life.

Father's day blog

I find lyrics to songs are so effective at summing up how I feel about so many things. So, naturally, when it comes to father's day, this song comes to mind:

The greatest man I never knew

Lived just down the hall

And everyday we said hello

But never touched at all

He was in his paper

I was in my room

How was I to know he thought I hung the moon

The greatest man I never knew

Came home late every night

He never had too much to say

Too much was on his mind

I never really knew him

And now it seems so sad

Everything he gave to us took all he had

Then the days turned into years

And the memories to black and white

He grew cold like an old winter wind

Blowing across my life

The greatest words I never heard

I guess I'll never hear

The man I thought would never die

S'been dead almost a year

He was good at business

But there was business left to do

He never said he loved me

Guess he thought I knew

It's a very touching song. It doesn't translate perfectly for me. For one, my dad tells me loves me all the time-he is very expressive. He also tells me everything wrong in my life (and my sister's life, and my brother's life, and pretty anyone else he can think of). He is also still very much alive-and incredibly healthy at 71.

The line about how he gave everything he had makes me sad. So many men are guilty of this. My husband is a perfect example. They are working so hard taking care of their families, and worrying about the big picture, that they forget to enjoy life's little treasures. It may take your children a lifetime to figure this out about you. It seems like such a waste.

The part about never really knowing him is true for me. He was very distant when I was growing up. In fact, we didn't really like each other very much. I suppose in part because we are a lot alike. As an adult, and a parent myself, I notice we have grown to be a little closer. In fact, every once in a while I get a glimpse of what he might have been like to have had as a friend instead of a father. It's one of the best things about getting to know your parents as an adult. You can see that side that you may never have noticed because they were busy raising you. My dad has a pretty good sense of humor. He is also a very talented cook-and not such a natural teacher. He has shown me how to cook lots of Iranian delights-none of which I have come close to mastering. So, I often call upon him for additional help to which he impatiently responds, "Sugar (Shoogah-with thick accent), when you gonna learn this stuff? I am not going to be around forever". You know how those old school cooks are-they never write anything down so I am constantly trying to get just the right amount of this and that figured out.

He is also a very emotional man. I notice he cries at the same movies I do (Slumdog, Kite Runner, etc). He also cries when he gets really angry-which I do as well. He is the reason I am hopelessly addicted to salt. I got his hair and awful feet. But he did bless us all with his dark coloring. He and I share a common dislike for garage sales, camping and setting foot in fabric stores. And just like me, he would rather be out doing something than watching TV or reading. We both love the gym and staying physically fit. I think of him when I eat pomegranates, pistachios and sour cherry jam; also bastani, poofac and noon -a-panir.

I always wanted to be accepted by him. I knew he loved me but it still felt like I let him down. I was a let down from the day I was born as he already had a daughter, and really wanted a son. I just kept up the trend most of my life. I think he is somewhat satisfied with the person I have become but I don't think it will ever be what he would have liked. I think he would have like me to have had a very impressive career of my own-and then married an extremely wealthy man whom spoiled me senselesly. He would like me to be an over privileged, over educated stay at home mommy who drives a fancy Mercedes and gets her hair done regularly. I am sure he would have liked it if I had kept up with my Iranian roots and still spoke Farsi.

On some levels, I can understand wanting these things for you kids. I would like my kids to grown up and have it great. I just wish he had made more of an effort to show some appreciate for what I did become.

Things I have learned

I read this very interesting list of things a columnist named Dave Berry wrote. It was one of those millions of things that gets forwarded over the Internet all the time. I usually only read them when they are short, if I read them at all-and this one met that criteria.





So, here are his 16 items: (I am so weak to use a forwarded spam article I know!)

1) Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

2) If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be "meetings."

3) There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."

4) People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.

5)You should not confuse your career with your life.

6) Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.

7) Never lick a steak knife

8) The most destructive force in the universe is gossip

9) You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.

10) You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggest that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.

11) There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age eleven.

12) The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe we are above average drivers.

13) A person who is nice to you, but rude to a waiter, is not a nice person. (This is very important. Pay attention. It never fails)

14) Your friends love you anyway.

15) Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.

16) Thought for the day: Men are like fine wine..they start out as grapes, and it's up to the women to stomp the crap out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with.

Now, I have a hard time believing he came up with all of these himself-as I have heard some of these before. But I do really like these observations. I am not very close to 50, and I have already seen many of these things hold true. The ones I particularly like are in blue. I have few things on my list to-



I read somewhere a long time ago that if you smile a lot-people tend to be more receptive to you. And it is true. I find a simple smile goes a very long way. It actually makes people more attractive when they smile. Regardless of how beautiful you are, a smile will always make you look better and make people more comfortable. I dare you to try this out-spend an entire day smiling at people-strangers, co-workers, your kids, whatever-and I promise you, you will find the world is a much better place.



I have also discovered that being angry and bitter with someone is so much harder than to just get along. It sounds strange, but it takes a lot more energy to complain and be negative. Just being kind is easier and feels much better. I have not always been able to pull it off-but when I do, I am always pleasantly surprised. My grandma used to say "kill'em with kindness". Why do grandmas always have the best expressions? I wonder if I will be one of those grandmas.



I have found that a man's relationship with his mother tells you a great deal about his relationship with his wife. And we really do become our parents despite our denial of it.

words that should not be words

I was recently at a Conference for the Association of Surgical Technologists (long term for people in the OR) which is where I work. The show photography shared a charming little story about the last conference he attended-it was called the Association for Non-Invasive Gynecologists.





WHAT? That is an oxy-moron. As a member of the female gender, I am telling you, there is no non-invasive gynecology. To which this mental giant responded, "well it's gotten better than the days when they split you open". Nice. That is not really a medical field is it? That is just idiots being barbaric and lazy. Do you really need to go to medical school to just split someone open? I do that with a turkey every Thanksgiving.




This wonderful, enlightening discussion did make me think about something though-and it's the opposite of one of my favorite bloggers, Brad (http://www.diariesoftheprofessor.com/), who posted a list of words that should be in the dictionary but are not (https://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=31086424&postID=8982993292078610024. What I have been thinking about are words, like the aforementioned Non-invasive Gynecologists, that are in the dictionary but should not be:



grapefruit-honestly-this fruit in no way resembles a grape! It's more of an overgrown, bitter orange.


softball-who in his right mind thinks this ball is soft? perhaps someone who thinks a larger version of base is soft? yes, that makes perfect sense.


night stick-I have seen enough Law and Order to know that they use these during the day too



horsefly-I have never seen a horse fly-or a dragon fly for that matter. I haven't seen a house fly either come to think of it. Perhaps horseflies just like horses? then do dragon flies just like dragons? and house flies just like houses?



hot dog-I cannot even begin to imagine how processed meat that is not fit to feed a dog got named after one.

bathing suite-okay, if you are bathing, you should not be wearing anything. If you are swimming, you should be wearing a swim suite right?

restroom/bathroom/water closet/powder room-not that I have a better word (perhaps Brad can step in here), but none of these descriptions really seem to grasp the purpose of this room. I am thinking excrete room?

football-you have to give this one to the Euros; their version really does use the foot even if American football is a thousand times more interesting to watch. But then again, why do we even have the word soccer?

buffalo wings-these are chicken wings aren't they? who came up with the whole buffalo thing?

Feel free to add more of these non-sen sickle words, I know there are many more.

Another gym blog

I go to many different gyms. As a 24 hour member (yes, the bottom feeding establishment that it is), I can go to any of their wonderful facilities. So, I go to the one by my office during the week-and I recently joined a very nice club I go to on the weekend. I also go to a couple of other locations during the week so I can catch some of my favorite instructors.



Every gym comes complete with LAME (look at me) cast. There is the too tan, dressed 10+ years inappropriately, just got out of the waiting room of the plastic surgeon girl. There are FAR too many of them. They irritate the hell out of me but the also look great (that might be part of why they irritate me). This girl knows she looks great and makes every effort to be seen. She is meticulously dressed, her hair is usually just so-and she always has make up on. She bends over, streches in the most high profile locations-yells loudly during group exercise, etc. Yesterday one of these LAME girls had on a sports bra top combo that was a bit too narrow because her implants were actually hanging out of it. Mind you, I am a fan of implants-but I don't really need to SEE them. It's okay to be hot-just use some discretion-some people are actually there to excerise and not just to be stared at. What we really need for folks like this is an fitness zoo-where they can have their own little cages that people can come and marvel at what a good job they do with their tiny bodies and tons of free time. (hmm, do I sound bitter?)



Of course, there is always a yin for the yang. The member who doesn't realize she is not the aforementioned person, but dresses like she is. Folks, tight fitting tops and short shorts are not supposed to be worn by everyone-regardless of the latest fashions. Some people should stick to the loser fitting styles. I do admire people who are not the of the super model variety that are still at the gym, sweating and suffering away. It is much harder to go when you don't look like you live there. In fact, some of these people might have other things to do like work or raise children, etc. While I fit in this category, I don't wear grossly inappropriate work out attire. That is all I ask.



Then, there are the guys who accompany the LAME ladies. They are really fun to take in. Most of the time, they have on what you might call a tank top. It's the closest thing to not wearing a shirt they can get away with. They walk around like stuffed turkeys-with their arms and chests sticking out. They are the guys who wore those balloon pants with loud prints in the 80's. Today they have on these inverse tank top concoctions. This guy grunts really loudly too-and always wants to work in with the guy who lifts a lot less than he does. He never wipes off the equipment, and the youngest versions rarely put anything away-probably so the next person can be impressed by having to remove all the large plates. "my, how strong you must be to use all these plates" It's so predictable.

Also, why would a member of the male sex wear spandex EVER? It just isn't a good look. I was corrected once by a guy who told me it was LYCRA (whatever). I suppose if you are on a 10 hour bike ride outdoors, it could be almost acceptable, but a 60 minute spin class? If I wanted to see a display of fashion disability and abuse of good taste, I will just go to the local Renaissance Festival. I don't need it at the gym.

As for 24 Hour itself-what a total rip off. The showers are just breeding grounds for disease-hair stopping up the drains-the soap dispensers are always out, those cheap plastic shower curtains, no place to put your personal items,etc. The outlets rarely work-many of the shower heads don't work. I love their 10 cent towels that they sell for $7. And because I have my head up my you know what, I often have to purchase one. So why go there you ask? Well, it's cheap, it's convenient-and where else can I get this kind of material to blog about?



As for my posh club I recently joined, give me a couple of months on that one-I am sure there is great material there too. For one, it has a tennis club as part of the membership-that alone is grounds for endless snobbery and hoity toity behaviors to make fun of. What I am finding early on is a lot of white haired members. But I will keep you posted.

I looked up the meaning of uninspired today; and this is what I found:





adjective
Lacking liveliness, charm, or surprise: arid, aseptic, colorless, drab, dry, dull, earthbound, flat, flavorless, lackluster, lifeless, lusterless, matter-of-fact, pedestrian, prosaic, spiritless, sterile, stodgy, unimaginative

Lacking originality: sterile, uncreative, unimaginative, uninventive, unoriginal.



The adjective has 2 meanings:
Meaning #1: having no intellectual or emotional or spiritual excitement
Meaning #2: deficient in originality or creativity; lacking powers of invention:i"a sterile ideology lacking in originality"


Hmmm, I resemble this description much of the time at work! Most of the adjectives were exactly what I was expecting, but pedestrian? Since when is that uninspired? I love the dictionary!

Life's irritating mysteries.....cont'd

I hate stoplights with timers! Who thought that up anyway? Probably the idiot who came up with the "adult swim" concept. Why do we need to be told to stop what we are doing all the time? What's wrong with free will?


Springtime in Colorado. It is giant confusion between summer and winter in a bi-polar, irritating fashion.



Unisex restrooms-public restrooms. It's bad enough my home has to have both sexes using the same restrooms-but in public, I should be spared. Men's rooms are like smoking sections. If there is a smoking section-the whole place is a smoking section-there is no such thing as non-smoking. I feel this way about both sex restrooms. They all become men's rooms. Much like my household-where I am, of course, the only female. I should have my own restroom really-and my own shower, closet, and room too. I digress....



Has anyone ever noticed the Yellow truck sign is orange? I suppose it's genious marketing-but it's also quite stupid.



What is the deal with Pirates? I thought they were fictional characters?



The English language. I did not realize just how absurd our language was until I had a first grader. As he learns to read and write (and I along with him), I am getting more and more annoyed with this language. We really don't need 26 letters-what is the point of x and q? Couldn't x be replaced with z or ks? And q- kw? C sometimes sounds like S, and sometimes like K-identity crisis. This to me means, it could just go away. And what about silent letters? WHY? Get rid of them! That is the stupidest thing I have ever seen. Why don't we just call them invisible letters and not put them there? Don't even get me started on the i before e thing! I could go on and on. It's as if someone took a perfectly good language and just totally screwed it. Senseless-truly! It makes me crazy. I could do a blog on this alone but I will spare you.



My DVR player only works with a remote control. There are no buttons on it to manually operate it. What has the world come to? Between my two boys, finding that remote is no small task. Remote controls, like many many technological advances, are the best and the worst things that have ever happened. That is another blog unto itself!

There are people who are not very bright , but have great people skills-they are so nice and likable, you can forgive the fact that they are dumber than sticks. Then there are those who are sharp but not so congenial. These are people you can co-exist with-and just accept the functionality of it-you just get what you need to get done, and keep the rest to a minimum. Either of these combinations are okay with me. But then there are those whom are both unintelligent AND unfriendly-and there are lots of words to describe this unfortunate combination-then it is one of the most irritating things I can think of. Obviously, I avoid these people like the swine flu-but when I have to work with someone who fits this description-it makes me want to pull out my hair!