It seems that you are either a fitness person or not. Most of my life I have been one. I have been the fit girl at the gym, and I have been the fat girl at the gym. It is MUCH easier to be the fit girl. Currently, I am somewhere in between the two. I never thought it possible. I am not out of shape, in fact, I am in pretty good shape. However, I am heavier than I have ever been (not counting pregnancy years). I always assumed being a gym rat would keep me out of that dreaded battle of the bulge. But naturally, genes and age have tipped the scales-literally.
I remember when I was younger (and thinner), I found it strange to see people in the gym working so hard but still looking a bit heavy or thick. I especially remember walking into an exercise class thinking it wasn't going to be a good workout from the looks of the instructor. Yet, most of the time, it was a good workout. Now I understand why.
At times I have considered just scrapping the whole idea of going to the gym. After all, it doesn't seem to be working at the constant remodeling of my physique I have been engaged in for as long as I can remember. Sadly, I have always longed to look better than I do. Even when I was incredibly thin, I was never swimsuit model material. What a waste to have spent all those years wishing I looked better. Looking back, I didn't look bad at all. It also scares me to think think what in the world I am going to say in 10 years about how I look now!
Regardless of the fruits of my labor-or fruitless labor- I have decided the gym is just something I need to do for myself. It's not really for the results (clearly), and it's not because I am training for some huge event-although being a mother to two active little boys does require a lot of energy. It is mostly just the sixty or so minute commitment I make to myself. It is just my time-no one else's. I can pop on my Ipod and listen to cheesy tunes as loud as I want. No on can bother me, or ask for something or call me-nothing. The world slows down for just a short while. Whether I go once a week, or five times a week, it's very important to me to go. When I don't go, I feel like crap, and have low energy. I am just in a better mood when I am in shape-even if I do look more like a cheeseburger model than a runway model. Some people scrapbook, others read or garden.....me, I just like the gym.