I remember being pregnant with my second son. I worried so much that I wouldn't love this child as much as I loved my first. I felt guilty even thinking that, and I wondered if other moms had that fear? Then again, I had no idea how much I would love my first born either. And naturally, just like with the first ,I was amazed at how much I loved the second born. It is a feeling like no other. This little being that I had only known a few short hours had already marked a place in my soul that was so powerful and permanent, and has only grown with time.
I remember I used to just hold my little babies while they slept-against everyone's advice. I had to go back to work so early after both my boys were born, so I would sit up at night and just hold them because it was the only time I didn't have to share with anyone else. It was just my time.
And still to this day-they are now 4 and 7, I cherish holding them when they are tired and listless. They creep into bed with me with alarming regularity (at least to the general public) and cuddle. And deep down I love it. I know it's a bad habit, but I just can't help it. That is still my time-that no one can take away. No job, no obligation, no babysitting, no one can stake a claim on those moments. It's just that special bond I have felt since the moment I held them.